Parents who are going through a divorce have to think about how their actions during and after the process might affect their children. It’s not always easy to get along with an ex, so some people may have to plan for a high-conflict parenting situation.
Contentious parenting circumstances can have a negative impact on everyone involved, so it’s best to understand some of the challenges that may occur. This knowledge can inspire parents to develop methods for addressing them before the situation devolves to the point that their children suffer.
Communication breakdowns
High-conflict parenting often leads to communication breakdowns. Parents in these situations may struggle to communicate effectively. Misunderstandings because of communication challenges can make the situation even more tense and lead to increased conflict.
For many parents in this situation, treating communication in a businesslike manner may be beneficial. While direct communication is usually necessary, that doesn’t necessarily have to occur through spoken forms. Instead, text messages or emails may reduce the chance of conflict. Both parties can re-read their words prior to sending messages to better ensure that there aren’t any inflammatory statements.
It’s critical that parents try to navigate any conflicts away from their children. Any issues should be discussed privately and calmly. These matters shouldn’t ever be brought up during transitions times because the children need that time to be stress-free as they adjust to switching homes.
Inconsistent parenting styles
Differences in parenting styles are possible in a high-conflict parenting situation. This can confuse and destabilize children. One parent may adopt a lenient approach while the other is stricter, which can lead to confusion. One way that parents may be able to address this is to set consistent rules and expectations for major areas in the children’s life. Some major areas to discuss include education, medical care and faith or religion.
Issues of concern can be outlined in the parenting plan so there’s no doubt about what’s been agreed upon. Having a detailed parenting plan in place can reduce the risk of disagreements in the future.